She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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