I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
