a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
