My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
