Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
