Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
