I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
