This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
