it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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