You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
