honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
