I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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