Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry about my life...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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