dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
