Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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