I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
