Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
