I bet he comes in French.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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