god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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