That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
