I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
