So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
