Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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