he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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