I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Found your dick twin last night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
