I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
