it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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