if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
