There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
