some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
