Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
