he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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