His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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