Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
