Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
