if only i could text you this smell
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
