He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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