Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
