I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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