reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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