So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
