My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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