We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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