you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
