Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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