she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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