His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she smelled like a LAN party
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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