Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
