I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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