Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
