A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
