Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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